Woman Sues Common Sense

From a Toronto Star article:

A Utah woman is suing the search engine Google, claiming its maps function gave her walking directions that led her onto a major highway, where she was struck by a car.

So she got to the highway and then decided to walk along it, despite a) the fact the highway lacked either a sidewalk or a shoulder, and b) IT BEING A FREAKIN' HIGHWAY WITH CARS DRIVING AT 120 km/h!

She also got the walking directions off her Blackberry, meaning when she found that she was to walk on a dangerous highway, she could have looked up an alternative set of directions.

Even the Star gives its two sense, even if it is in that shitty "unbiased" way:

Others have pointed out that Rosenberg might have been best served by her own eyes after she reached a T-junction and found herself confronted with a patently unsafe walk.

I kept the link because, to make their two sense, the Star had to pull from some random news website.

Anyways, the point is: fuck you lady.

Han-larious

Heh heh heh.Both Harrison Ford and Billy Dee Williams went to the premier of Empire Strikes Back a 30th Anniversary release. But apparently AP news isn't a big fan of the flick. Either that or, like Colbert, they don't see colour. Or coolness apparently.

P.S. Williams is the cool one in this pair. Obviously.

Dream Fulfillment

I've done some techwriting in my past, and so I know the pain of using Adobe products. I'm not going to go on about how crappy their products are, because I don't really know what I'm talking about. I'm not an expert in software design so maybe their shit is actually good. I do know, however, that I myself experienced a great deal of frustration using their various products. Some of the most oblique work I've ever done is with Adobe Framemaker. That's saying a lot; I'm an academic.

Anyways, I found this blog, Maniacal Rage, that has a bunch of funny CS4 crash report descriptions. A sample:

Cathartic.

New David Cross

I'm not always the best person for keeping up with when comedy albums come out. In fact, I'm terrible.

For instance, I just discovered that that David Cross has an album (Bigger and Blacker) coming out May 25th. Pitchfork has a track up for a listen. They'll also have an interview with him later, which I'll also likely post something about. Maybe.

The track isn't downright hilarious, but who cares; I have a great fondness for Cross' stand-up and it's been since 2004 that I got a new official release (It's not Funny). My first year in university... Hmm, getting older.

Smack that... Um?

So I sit down to read Kenneth Burke's Counter-Statement and after TWO prefaces I decide I need to do something else. To the blogotorium!

Anyways, so I was visiting friends this weekend and there was one thing that consumed a great deal of our doings. While indeed we did spend a great number of hours playing a Call of Cthululhuluhhhully (sp?) board game (omg so nerdy), I think this video may have been the focal point of the entire weekend.

Watched it? Good. So I watched this off Boing Boing and as the video played I was trying to deduce what made him the worst DJ ever. Oh is it the drunk slurring about the conga? Oh, the music changed off the kookaronga (sp?) to Phil Collins and he doesn't do anything. But then all became clear... horribly clear.

This video fills me with questions.

• Does he shout "You wanna do it. Have a slice of wine!"? "Spice of lime"?
  
• Why does she just stand there? There is just zero reaction. Is this something that happens regularly? Has her soul just given up? Is she just so drunk that this seems normal?
• Does he know this woman at all? Maybe that's his significant other but I like to think that she's just a woman at the party who wants to request a song.
• The DJ just turns away from the woman with complete nonchalance, like he didn't just sexually assault a woman. Does he think he's in fact the GREATEST DJ EVER for his rockin boobongo solo? Like he has to play it cool?
  
• DID HE FINISH WITH A BACKHAND!?
  

Just crazy. Though this is not the first time Phil Collins has surprised me.

P.S. As a side note, because of the controversy surrounding the pronunciation of Cththhululhhu (sp?), our friends now refer to the great old one as Kraft Dinner. I hope this will clear the issue up for all.

TT: The Trotsky

Hey, it's going to say I posted on Wednesday, but that's a damned lie! This is still Tuesday. I won't conform to your conception of time, Blogger!

And with that revolutionary spirit in mind, how about a trailer for The Trotsky.

Jay Baruchel is hit or miss with me, but I was really impressed with his voice work in How to Train your Dragon, and this film actually looks pretty fun. Now, it is a Canadian film, but the trailer makes me optimistic despite. I do think Baruchel can carry a film, he's got a funny way about him certainly, so I think I'll try to see this film when it rolls around. I'm not sure if I'm going to have to find it in an independent theatre or not, though I bet it will get circulation in some of those big 12 theatre places if only for the reason that Avatar's out on DVD nowadays and they have to find something to play.

Baruchel also stars in Disney's upcoming The Magician's Apprentice, which is apparently connected to Fantasia in the most illogical way imaginable. Nic Cage has nothing to do with that classic, but suddenly he's bopping about in a trench coat and ridiculous hat shooting plasma bolts at people. I believe he actually even calls them plasma bolts. It looks surprisingly not terrible, but I'm sure Cage will bring his typical brand of irritation that may keep me away. AND his hair! ugh. I won't likely be seeing it in theatre but maybe I'll rent it to see how Baruchel does in the role.

Anyways, sorry for the slow goings on around here. I'm busy with school starting up and I've just launched another blog. I Can Beat This is my attempt at game criticism, starting with the game I'm almost least likely to really enjoy, but that's sort of the point. It may keep things a little slower here but I'm sure you'll manage.

Fuck you Wednesday, it's still Tuesday in my heart.

Trailer Tuesdays: Rubber and The Other Guys

I really dig movie trailers. Trailers are actually quite often better than the full movie. As brevity is the soul of wit, a two minute trailer sure asks you to condense your film into wit. There are better trailers and worse trailers, but there's a real art to making them. Given my love then, I think I'm going to start posting movie trailers for things that seem at least tangentially related to humour. This week we have a buddy-cop-comedy with Will Ferrell and Mark Whalberg, and a psychotic and telepathic spare tire. Yep, spare tire. Explanation and trailers after the jump.

The Other Guys:

Now I'm hit or miss with Will Ferrell movies, and The Other Guys' director also directed Talladega Nighta, so I'm a tad trepidatious about this movie. But the trailer does look pretty funny. Sam Jackson and The Rock look pretty damn funny as the typical buddy-cops, and Ferrell seems to be channeling his character from Stranger Than Fiction a little. I can see some cracks in the trailer that could mean some pretty stilted and obvious humour, but overall this trailer has made me want to see the film. The good-cop-bad-cop schtick and the wood-gun-smack are pretty damn funny.

Rubber:

So this is horror flick (with heavy leanings to B-horror flick I can only imagine) seems to be about a tire that kills people with its mind. Or, well, it kills people with psychokinesis... or is it telekinesis... listen, it kills shit with magic. You saw the trailer, the bird just explodes after the tire (is its name Rubber?) jiggles a bit. Honestly, I'm not sure how serious this film is, but I would certainly get a kick out of it. Imagine shots of terrified teens running through the flaming debris of a building, with quick cuts of a rolling tire pursuing them.

Really, I'm just glad its not a horror film about a telekinetic condom on a killing spree. Yee-ikes.

Someone call nine one hhhhooooly-shit!

P.S. Slagathor also showed me this ethically dubious, but certainly hilarious top twenty parenting fails.