If you watch the below trailer you will see a few strange things. Danny Glover as a crazy old man obsessed with killing a dragon, that this movie is based on Moby Dick, and that this sort of combination requires both hard rock and Vinnie Jones.
There are various things that puzzle me about this movie.
First, does it take place in the future? If so, is it vying for the greatly sought after title of best futuristic dragon movie, previously held by Reign of Fire.
Secondly, does this movie take place in some alternate universe where the Tenenbaum family gets eaten by a white dragon, and Henry Sherman must avenge their murderer/consumer? If so, why is Pagoda not helping?
Most obviously, Moby Dick with dragons? Moby Dick by Herman Melville? How, in God's good greatness, did this get made? Unless it was all Danny Glover's idea, this all seems like one of those joke movies you see in other movies, like Snake on a Plane.
What's with dragons and hard rock? Just off the top of my head:
At least I suspect it is, I haven't done much research into the area *pulls collar away from neck and makes comedy noise*, but let's go ahead and say it's a valid claim.
So, Meg and I were waiting for a movie with a friend, bitching about whatever us MA lit-students bitch about (Mexicans), casually glancing at the multitude of TVs scattered throughout the lobby playing the same cycle of seven trailers interspersed with Skittles commercials ("blue is back!"), when our friend asks Meg, "do you think this is rape?" gesturing at the screen. We watched:
Did you catch the rape? Neither did I at first, but Meg thinks about it for a second and says "yes.". The issue is essentially: Anniston plans to get pregnant and Bateman spills the sample from the man she had actually selected and then, just as a quick and easy solution because what's it really matter, fills the thinger with his own *ahem* sample. He essentially inseminates her without her knowledge/consent."
At first I didn't buy it. Rape is violent and physical. The dude may be a dumb douche for doing what he does, but that doesn't mean he rapes her... does it? This is just some neo-feminist poppycock construing this bad thing as the extreme worst as a necessity of its politics-ideology... right?
But it is rape. He impregnates her without consent. While it may not be the violent form of rape we all know and abhor, it certainly falls under the same category. And what's strange, is that this movie uses this sort of thing casually, as a madcap rom-com premise. It's like if the setup was Bateman killing Aniston's mother, and through the investigation their initial antagonistic relationship blossoms into Hollywood love. I just don't get it.
I haven't seen the movie, and I probably won't, so maybe I'm wrong and the film deals with the severity of the issue, but from the trailer it looks like a typical rom-com. My projected plot is the initial "switch", then flash forward to when the kid's older and Bateman meets the kid and feels like he wants to be a part of his life. Then, when the Anniston finally finds out, she's pissed but eventually gets over it because she loves her son so much and wouldn't want him to be any different. This would and be how she falls in love with Bateman, she would recognize the qualities she sees in her son in Bateman (like the apparent ability to think quick on his feet).
I seriously don't know why either Bateman or Goldbloom are in this stupid movie. I do expect better of both of them. I mean there are paydays and then there are bad movie concepts, and this is the exemplar of the latter.
I just hope my titular prediction is correct and that I'm not forced to swallow my words when Sam Worthington and Katherine Heigl star in Once Upon a Time in a Dark Alley.
Update: So that cool trailer is also pretty frickin annoying just sitting on the page playing its little title screen music. It's now after a jump.
Some weird and new fangled sort of trailer came out for the forthcoming Scott Pilgrim vs The World. It certainly is an interesting new take on trailers and seems to fit in well with the flavour of the movie, but kwiest is the beep noise that sounds every time you activate a feature annoying as hell. I think it's almost worth turning off the sound entirely so you can't hear it. I didn't though, because I wanted to hear the soothing cadences of Cera's voice as he says "Lesbians?".
I'm feeling a little weird about this movie. I love Edgar Wright and his first two movies, but every movie I've seen this year has been a disappointment. I mean, Inception was pretty good, but it could have been better/made more logical sense internally, Clash of the Titans was painful, Iron Man 2 was poo poodiocre, and Toy Story 3 was Toy Story 2 redux. I actually didn't mind Predators, but that was because I went in with fairly low expectations.
Anyways!, the point: I'm worried this movie, too, is going to disappoint me. I've been anticipating it for a while, but I feel like it has been over saturated (even though I've avoided watching a lot of the content out there, I feel like I've seen too much). The flick has no where to go but down in terms of expectations.
Hey, it's going to say I posted on Wednesday, but that's a damned lie! This is still Tuesday. I won't conform to your conception of time, Blogger!
And with that revolutionary spirit in mind, how about a trailer for The Trotsky.
Jay Baruchel is hit or miss with me, but I was really impressed with his voice work in How to Train your Dragon, and this film actually looks pretty fun. Now, it is a Canadian film, but the trailer makes me optimistic despite. I do think Baruchel can carry a film, he's got a funny way about him certainly, so I think I'll try to see this film when it rolls around. I'm not sure if I'm going to have to find it in an independent theatre or not, though I bet it will get circulation in some of those big 12 theatre places if only for the reason that Avatar's out on DVD nowadays and they have to find something to play.
Baruchel also stars in Disney's upcoming The Magician's Apprentice, which is apparently connected to Fantasia in the most illogical way imaginable. Nic Cage has nothing to do with that classic, but suddenly he's bopping about in a trench coat and ridiculous hat shooting plasma bolts at people. I believe he actually even calls them plasma bolts. It looks surprisingly not terrible, but I'm sure Cage will bring his typical brand of irritation that may keep me away. AND his hair! ugh. I won't likely be seeing it in theatre but maybe I'll rent it to see how Baruchel does in the role.
Anyways, sorry for the slow goings on around here. I'm busy with school starting up and I've just launched another blog. I Can Beat This is my attempt at game criticism, starting with the game I'm almost least likely to really enjoy, but that's sort of the point. It may keep things a little slower here but I'm sure you'll manage.
Fuck you Wednesday, it's still Tuesday in my heart.
I really dig movie trailers. Trailers are actually quite often better than the full movie. As brevity is the soul of wit, a two minute trailer sure asks you to condense your film into wit. There are better trailers and worse trailers, but there's a real art to making them. Given my love then, I think I'm going to start posting movie trailers for things that seem at least tangentially related to humour. This week we have a buddy-cop-comedy with Will Ferrell and Mark Whalberg, and a psychotic and telepathic spare tire. Yep, spare tire. Explanation and trailers after the jump.
The Other Guys:
Now I'm hit or miss with Will Ferrell movies, and The Other Guys' director also directed TalladegaNighta, so I'm a tad trepidatious about this movie. But the trailer does look pretty funny. Sam Jackson and The Rock look pretty damn funny as the typical buddy-cops, and Ferrell seems to be channeling his character from Stranger Than Fiction a little. I can see some cracks in the trailer that could mean some pretty stilted and obvious humour, but overall this trailer has made me want to see the film. The good-cop-bad-cop schtick and the wood-gun-smack are pretty damn funny.
Rubber:
So this is horror flick (with heavy leanings to B-horror flick I can only imagine) seems to be about a tire that kills people with its mind. Or, well, it kills people with psychokinesis... or is it telekinesis... listen, it kills shit with magic. You saw the trailer, the bird just explodes after the tire (is its name Rubber?) jiggles a bit. Honestly, I'm not sure how serious this film is, but I would certainly get a kick out of it. Imagine shots of terrified teens running through the flaming debris of a building, with quick cuts of a rolling tire pursuing them.
Really, I'm just glad its not a horror film about a telekinetic condom on a killing spree. Yee-ikes.
Someone call nine one hhhhooooly-shit!
P.S. Slagathor also showed me this ethically dubious, but certainly hilarious top twenty parenting fails.
I mean the trailer is pretty good. I've been excited about this movie for a while. But the internet does seem to be losing its shit over this like minute and a half of trailer. Let's think about this movie for a second.
Alright, Edgar Wright. Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Also Spaced. When I heard he was directing I knew that this was likely going to be a pretty good adaptation. Those are some of the most intelligent comedies made in recent bits. So, really I'm excited for his next movie no matter what.
Oh, and then add Michael Cera. My love for him has not abated despite Year One. I do sorta get the hate that has sprung up for him. Yes, he often plays the same character. Well, sort of. I mean, he has a certain sense of delivery (which I love) that can make him seem more like the same then he would otherwise, follow? The characters he plays seem more similar than they would normally because of his delivery. I'm not saying they're that much different, but I am saying that many many many other actors have made careers of playing slight variations of themselves and are still generally considered good actors (cough cough george clooney). I think Cera has a great ear for comedy and balls to people who are tired of his schtick.
Now Scott Pilgrim, on paper... You know, I don't love these books. Disclaimer: I've read the first two of the Pilgrim series, and it is possible that they get better. Point: I dig the fight my exes bit (especially as a final act reveal in the first book) but otherwise I find the series unremarkable. I don't hate it, but it's not mind-blowing. Yes, it oozes style that often makes you dig the genre-bending/awareness, but the dialogue and characters are a tad underdeveloped.
Also, the books aren't all about videogames(!), but that's all the trailer seems to be about. Lots of comic/videogamey violence. Maybe that's how they're trying to sell the movie, but in the books there's a lot more that goes on. There is a lot of talking, a lot of music stuff (especially as it relates to indie rock in Toronto), and most importantly there's Pilgrim being a dumb dumb. While the fight scenes do look pretty bad-ass (is Cera seriously fighting Jason Schwartzman with a flaming katana!?) I think the movie will miss an opportunity if it doesn't also feature prominently the music and self loathing of the books.
This movie has a lot to live up to, I mean even beyond me. There are a lot of people really excited about this movie, and we've seen what expectations will do for a film. I just sorta want to cover my head and duck... like, after I watch the trailer again.
Hey, there's a trailer out for the fake biopic on Weird Al Yankovic. I know the majority of the world has gone sour on Weird Al but I have fond memories of his music from kidhood. I didn't listen to much pop music when I was younger, I was more into the DC Talk, but I actually ended up stealing a tape from my cousin. How I justified that with the DC Talk I'm at a loss to explain. But anyways, I came into contact with a lot of popular music first through Mr. Weird Al. I mean, I heard "Smells like Nirvana" long before I ever heard "Smells like Teen Spirit." Indeed whenever I hear Nirvana's version in, you know, big boy world I'm always confused as to the absense of mooing.
Anyways, if you won't watch this for me, or for Weird Al, do it for Patton.
